Oh. My. God.

July 29th, 2007 § 6

Have you ever had a glimpse into something that you just could not have imagined being in the fabric of your child?

Parenting my beloved child has been a special challenge for the last few weeks. She has done some outlandish things, been more defiant than her already usually defiant state, and I’ve been past wit’s end. Tonight I discovered that she wrote the following e-mail to her friend Harper (thankfully filtered through her mom’s email address):

Deer Harper,

Plees send Me an-volohp weth Monie in it atleast 40 doler’s in it. but waht-ever you do Don,t tell my mom or dad or-els wen you come bak to my hous or wen i come to your hous i well take your stoft anamol dog away, and plees mak the onvolohp say to alli from Harper. and dont wery you well be varry varry varry…!… glad you spendid all that monie. oh and one mor thing… pleas mak shor you send the allavolohp befor chating me bak


I’m certain that one day I will find this outlandishly humorous.

Right now, I just feel sick to my stomach.

§ 6 Responses to “Oh. My. God.”

  • Marie says:

    Oh my. Any idea what she wants the 40 bucks for? And she’s threatening to steal the dog? I am intrigued.

  • Copy Slave says:

    I remember MY first extortion letter. *Sigh* But she’s never going to get far using an “an-volohp”. A “breeefkase” is more efficient. And stylish.

  • Julie says:

    Thanks for the much needed laugh, Scott.

    Haven’t had a chance to post an update with the conversation I have had with Alli about this. She claims that her intent was to give Harper a bunch of her (Alli’s) stuffed animals in return for the cash (thus the “you won’t be sorry”) comment. I think that the money obsession has hit a peak and has been influenced by conversations with ‘friends’ (also in the 6-year-old age range, mind you) that are bragging about how much money they have (like $300 and up). Apparently Alli felt that her piggy bank savings was too insignificant in comparison. Ah, the joys of keeping up with the Jones’ hitting us much earlier and harder than I expected. I’m trying hard not to chalk it up to the private school surroundings, but…

  • Marie says:

    Ugh. Six in entirely too young to feel piggy bank peer pressure. I do recall, however, being quite obsessed with how much money I had in my kitty bank when I was about 10-12. I saved and saved and saved and eventually had about $81 stashed in that bank. I kept a little ledger, too, of what I had and what I spent, and I would freak out if I dipped into the 60s. I’m pretty sure I got my financial pressure from my dad, though, not classmates.

  • […] finally letting go of the prolonged e-mail ban precipitated by Alli’s extortion campaign, I relented and found an e-mail account with parent monitoring capabilities, so she’s been […]

  • […] I know that was early but we’re a technological household, and ever since the often relayed extortion shebazzle we’ve become quite a bit more conservative in our position on parental oversight. But I […]

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