Teach your children well…

January 18th, 2008 § 0

Posting this lovely chat will come back to bite me, I’m sure, and cost us hundreds of dollars in therapy for our child one day, but some of the most delicately funny moments in life just HAVE to be preserved. Plus, she’s growing up in THIS household; sharing about bodily functions is easier than breathing…

7:29 PM me: i just spent 20 minutes reteaching Alli how to wipe her a**.

This after the 3rd day of finding poop on the bathroom floor, her feet, and her leg.

7:30 PM andrew: Wow

What was her style before?

7:31 PM I think ill stay here tonight. Sounds scary there

me: throw gigantic gobs of paper at her buttcheeks and see what happens.

no effort at the crack whatsoever.

and gobs too big to fit said crack.

hey, you asked.

andrew: Ooooh

7:32 PM You cracking up the room

7:34 PM me: you owe me.

she’s a Bernstein thru and thru.

andrew: Ill teach you how to wipe your a** when I get home

me: I’m good, thanks. But maybe you can share some of your art with your child.

7:35 PM andrew: You saying hartmans are good wipers?

What art?

me: I just thought you had the whole bathroom routine mastered.

andrew: Ahhhhh

I do

7:36 PM I even put the paper in the toilet when I’m done

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