February 6th, 2008 §
Instant message conversation with a co-worker today…..
me me me: Vote?
Notme: No I want to but don’t know how
me me me: Are you registered?
Notme: I don’t think so
Notme: Can you do off the internet
me me me: Freak
me me me: No
Notme: That’s why people don’t vote
Notme: Not easy
Notme: Besides obama gonna win
me me me: It took me 10 minutes
me me me: Have you ever voted?
Notme: Nope
Notme: Where can I do it
Notme: Library?
me me me: You gots to be registered
Notme: I’m not so what can I do
Notme: Can I register for the main one?
me me me: And you have polling places near your house for your voting convenience
me me me: Yes you can register for general election
Notme: How
me me me: Dial. 1-800-RegisterMe
Notme: Until yesterday I didn’t know that today was super tues
Notme: U serious?
me me me: Yes
Notme: Its a govt setup
Notme: That don’t want more people to vote
me me me: They probably don’t do it during those horrible reality shows you watch
Notme: Why not. That’s what most people watch now
Notme: I watched paradise hotel 2
Notme: Yesterday
Notme: Actually I was also watching larry king live too and they didn’t have any commercials on how to vote
me me me: I’m gonna need to see your high school and college diplomas
Notme: Ha
Notme: I got some conterfeits
December 16th, 2007 §
Alli loves to write little stories. 95.7 percent of all stories involve a cat or some other fuzzy little animal. On occasion when entertainment is needed she’s been known to author from Daddy’s blackberry or Mommy’s iphone…. today’s story was composed while shipping christmas packages…THE LITTLE PUPPY.Onec upon a time thar was a little puppy. His name was charlie. Butone day charlie got lost. Then he saw a cat. And then what was in hished? It was he jest sawl his diner. It was a cat! He ran as fast as ashe could to the cat. The cat then startid to run but the dog startidto cech up. But weth a big leap the cat got awy. The cat ran rightinside a opan door. Then the dog ternd arawnd. The dog had found. Outthat it had gotan lost. Then it sadly bakt awy. Then he saw a home. Heskrachd on the door. Then the door opind and shut. Then he went toanather door and the door opind and the girl pik up the dog and hugdit. And tok it inside. And they we’re both rilly rilly rilly happy.
October 3rd, 2007 §
A recent comment from ‘the mommy’ to ‘the spawn’ the other day that had me scratching my head…
Alli: Mommy, look at this picture!
Mommy: Nice! Is that a chinchilla? No, wait, a Venn diagram?
June 17th, 2007 §
In little league, I pitched one inning.
It was mostly uneventful.
As expected, I was a little wild.
I nearly hit the first batter (ok, ok, I nearly hit all of them.) I walked a couple guys, gave up a base clearing double and threw in a few strikeouts for good measure
Today, about 25 years later, I pitched my second official inning of “organized” (or “chaotic” in the case of tee ball) baseball. It was the first day of coach pitch.
It was mostly uneventful.
As expected, I was a little wild.
I hit the our first player with a pitch (although, in my defense, it wasn’t like he didn’t deserve it…no 6 year old is gonna crowd the plate against me! I own the inside corner, baby!)…
The batter survived without permanent damage, I regained my composure, and I didn’t actually bean any other children. Not much explanation needed as to why I pulled myself for Coach Lee in inning two.
Our next game is Monday night.
Those kids better remember who owns the inside corner of the plate. Coach Andrew is gonna be back on the mound.
May 9th, 2007 §
Other than a slow start and the clear overuse of the CAPS LOCK key, I’d say Alli’s first GoogleTalk experience (during a sick day) went swimmingly well….
I’m pretty sure that fatherhood doesn’t get better than animal name calling chats with a kindergartener.
10:24 AM me: Hi Alli
How are you feeling?
10:26 AM Alli: GOOD GOOD HI DADDY
me: You are feeling better?
10:27 AM How is mommy?
Where did you go? Don’t forget to hit the ENTER key
10:28 AM Hello?
GOOSE?
10:29 AM You have to hit ENTER!
I LOVE YOU
10:31 AM Alli: HAW DO YOU SEND
10:33 AM me: you hit the ENTER key. YOU JUST DID IT!
I LOVE YOU.
Alli: ERAS HAW DO YOU SEND
10:34 AM I AM FEELEENG BEDER
me: that is good
how is mommy?
10:36 AM jo?
10:37 AM Alli: IM NOT A GOOSE
me: yes you are
10:40 AM you are a monkey too
10:52 AM me: Miss you. Going to a meeting soon. Take care of Mommy.
10:53 AM You did a GREAT job typing!
11:42 AM me: I still think that you are a goose!
12:01 PM Alli: YOU ARE A MONKEY AND A GOOSE
12:04 PM DADDY! IAM NOT A GOOSE
April 15th, 2007 §
She can pardon our syntax problems.
Thankfully; she”s not able to correct-our, punctuation?
In her wunderful land of fonetik speleeng we cant mak a mistac.
But, when it comes to semantics, we live in the land of Alli.
No sentence is safe. No possible meaning goes unnoticed. Sometimes, this can be cute. The ‘uh, Mommy’ from the back seat followed by the ‘You said baby chick. Chicks are babies. You don’t need to say BABY’ is usually good for a chuckle.
Some times, however, call for a chuckle followed by the wish to add a knuckle…
Yesterday afternoon I asked Alli to pick up some of the items from the floor of her room and put them away. Usually, we try to make this manageable by asking her to pick 5 or 10 things and put them away.
For variety, this time I asked her to count all the items on the floor and put away half of them. She groans, gives me the patented ‘eye-rollin-daaad-eeee’ and turns to leave. She then looks at me and says:
“What if there isn’t a half?”
I ask her what she means. She proceeds to inform me that if there are, for instance, 3 things on the floor of her room, she will be unable to put away ‘half’ of them because 3 does not have a half when it comes to things on her floor. This is followed by, what feels like a lecture, on all the odd numbers from 1 to 29 representing numbers of things on her floor that she would be unable to put away ‘half’ of.
I sent Alli back to her room to put away some of her floor mess.
Precisely 10 things.